Walking by Faith
I recently had an opportunity to truly think about my faith and what it means to walk the walk. To be honest, I didn’t do such a good job of putting my faith into action. As I’ve said before on this blog, I’m a work in progress and I’m striving to get closer to God and live by his word.
What Shook My Faith
Recently, a mass was found in my son’s colon. My son is 23 years old and a childhood cancer survivor; I think I’ve shared that before. The mass, approximately six centimeters in size, had the appearance of being malignant. Just hearing that word sent me into an emotional tailspin and took me back to when he was three years old and I was told he had leukemia. The doctor looked at me and said, “Mom, have faith.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. Didn’t I write about faith, don’t I believe in God, haven’t I seen his glorious works in my life, but yet I was shaken to my core. Where was my faith?
God is always in the Midst
The days to follow were filled with emotion for my family. The day after the colonoscopy, Connor was sent for a CT scan of his pelvis, chest and abdomen. This was necessary to see if any of his other organs were impacted by the potential malignant growth in his colon. My son sensed my fear as we awaited the results and said to me, “Mom, God’s got us. He had us before and He has us now.” Again, where was my faith? I knew God was in the midst of the situation, but I was still afraid. This was my second reminder to have faith, but also another indication that I wasn’t walking the walk.
God Shows Up and Shows Out
The CT results came in early in the morning; it was before 7 am when I checked the computer. My husband wasn’t home and I called him to come home so we could open the results together. Just as we were reading the report, the doctor called and gave us good news. The CT scan was clean; no other organs were impacted.
I was afraid to read the results alone. I was forgetting that God is with me at all times. This was my third reminder to have faith.
Living My Words
As I was going through this situation, I was seeing God in action. He was bringing the words I write about on this blog to life right in front of my eyes. You see, I was writing words given to me by God, but now I realize God needed me to see his word in action first hand in my life. It is not like I have not seen God’s handiwork before; that is not what I’m saying. I’m saying this was an encounter with God after I started sharing his word with others through this blog site.
God needed me to write my personal testimony; a testimony that was closest to my heart. It was not something that was happening to me, but was happening to my son. The only son I have, the son who had gone through cancer before and survived. A son who was already a testimony of God’s grace and mercy. God was crafting a new story for me to share; a story of what it truly means to have faith in God and to put all faith in God and to stand on his word.
God Wasn’t Done
Shortly after 7 pm on Friday, my husband said there was a new test result for Connor in the portal. We rushed to the computer and saw the biopsy results were in. Of course the report was filled with lots of medical terminology; I called on my niece for assistance. She indicated the results were showing a pre-cancerous polyp.
After I hung up the phone, I fell on my knees and thanked God. The realization became so clear to me that “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” (Psalms 46:1-4)
We will not fear, but I had been afraid. The waters were roaring and the mountains were quaking, but God was sitting high and looking low. My son was right, God had us just like he had many times before. My son’s story, just like mine and yours is still being written by God. There is more of this journey in front of us, but through it all we will continue standing on God’s promise.
My Platform of Faith
When I started this blog, I said it was my platform of faith. It was me being the light, and in being the light I must be transparent about my own struggles of faith. I continue to be a work in progress on my faith journey, but I stand on God’s word. He wants me to show that I’m a living testimony of his goodness, of his love, of his faithfulness, of his mercy, of his healing power and of his never-ending goodness. He wants me not only to write the words, but to live the words by walking the walk.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV)
To God Be The Glory!
Note: This is part one of a series, Living My Faith: Walking the Walk as a Work in Progress
